October « 2007 « True Confessions of an Originaljoesnake

October 31, 2007

October 25, 2007

The Soundtrack to Paul’s Conversion

Filed under: Blogroll, Christianity, Jesus — joesnake @ 2:28 pm

1. Bob Dylan – “Rainy Day Women 13 and 35″ - If Saul and his Pharisee cohorts can’t beat Christian leaders like Stephen, they go for the next best alternative- they stone ‘em!

2. Drowning Pool – “Bodies” - Saul is a rising star in Jewish society. A pharisee and member of the Sanhedrin that studied under the great Gamaliel, what makes him so special is his zeal. He is intense and unrelenting in his persecution of false teachers he considers a danger to Judaism- the Christians he tortures and kills.

3. Johnny Cash – “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” - Paul and his entourage prepare to head up to Damascus, where he plans to get lists of more names that belong to “The Way” in order to persecute them.

4. Manfred Mann’s Earth Band – “Blinded by the Light” - Paul’s world is rocked by Jesus, who sends a blinding light down from heaven and asks him, “Saul, Saul why do you persecute me?” The question and experience change Paul and the course of Christianity forever.

5. Korn – “Blind” - Paul has much time to reflect and think deeply about why God spared his life on the road to Damascus because his entire life is in disarray and his vision is gone. For the 3 days he is blind he deduces through much prayer and as he says in Galatians 1:12, directly from God, the theology that will be the foundation of his numerous New Testament letters and books.

6. Queens of the Stone Age – “Hanging Tree” – After his confrontation with Jesus, Paul realized Jesus was alive. Since he knew Christ had been crucified, he deduced that he must have also been resurrected. This meant Jesus was the prophesized messiah. Like he would later write in Romans 1:4, resurrection is God’s ultimate validation of Christ. Since Paul was a scholar of the Old Testament, he would have also known that any man that hangs on a tree is accursed, according to Deut. 21:23. Why would Jesus hang on a cross and be accursed if he was the messiah? Paul’s answer: Christ died a substitutionary death for our sins, not his.

7. Nine Inch Nails – “Dead Souls” – It must have been horrible for Paul to realize the mistake he’d made by ignorantly killing the true followers of Christ. He was the one who deserved to die! The faces of Stephen and other Christians he killed and tortured must have haunted his thoughts and dreams.

8. The White Stripes – “I’m Slowly Turning Into You” - Due to his encounter with God, Paul gained some of the deepest insights a Christian writer has ever recorded regarding the unity between Christians and Jesus. Paul also understood spiritual growth, the process by which Christians are changed from the inside out by God.

9. Queens of the Stone Age – “Go With the Flow” - Most people just go with the flow and tend to have the same level of commitment as the other members of the groups or organizations they belong to, which carries over to our Christian walks. If our church is stale and boring, our individual walk tends to be the same. Paul did not go with the flow, instead he decided for himself how committed he would be. After he thought through the implications of his encounter on the road to Damascus, Paul realized the only logical response was to totally “Sell Out” and give his life to God based on the grace God gave him.

10. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - “I Won’t Back Down” – Once Paul became a Christian, his entire life became a whirlwind adventure of suffering, persecution, victory, and being used by God. Paul’s zeal and his understanding of God’s grace enabled him to be content in any circumstance, no matter how rough it seemed and constantly press on towards the finish line. At the end of his life, Paul was able to honestly say he ran the race and gave it his all.

11. Paul Revere and the Raiders – “Just Like Me” – In 1 Cor. 11:1, Paul tells the church to imitate him like he imitates Christ. Paul lived a life most would consider radical and over the top, but was the only logical lifestyle he could lead considering the implications of God’s Grace. He calls all Christians to consider the implications of grace for themselves and then come to the only logical conclusion for our life: to present our bodies as a living sacrifice to God.

Obviously, Paul led one of the most amazing lives ever, so his soundtrack can’t be just 11 songs long! Which songs still need to be added to the soundtrack and why?

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October 22, 2007

Bedford Playoff Dreams Dashed by Szatala’s Overtime Kick

Filed under: Blogroll, Football — joesnake @ 1:13 pm

Although the seniors on the Bedford football team were introduced for the final time in front of a home crowd as Bearcats, it was visiting Admiral King that got off to a fast start on Friday night at Bedford Bearcats Stadium. To the surprise of everyone in attendance, the Admirals jumped out to a 21-0 lead in the first quarter that would prove insurmountable for Bedford, whose postseason hopes were on the line.

In contrast with the excitement surrounding the game and the implications finishing out their season with two victories might have, Bedford came out of the gate to start the game stale and lacking, whereas Admiral King used it’s solid running game lead by back Tim Taylor and a tremendous defensive effort to curtail the Bearcats’ ground attack.

The Admirals took control on their opening offensive series, a 44 yard drive, capped by a 9 yard Anthony Harrison run. King used an unbalanced line to keep the Bearcats off balance in the first quarter and vault to the early lead. Seconds later, the King defense forced a fumble on a bad exchange between Bedford quarterback Shon Byars and runner Brian Darden. A Bearcat penalty moved the ball close to the goal for the Admirals, who barely squeaked into the end zone on a play where fullback Julius Rollins appeared to be stopped short on fourth and goal from the 1 yard line.

The Admirals showed an uncanny ability to convert fourth downs using trickery when their Coach Mark Campo needed them most. Facing fourth and short two times, Admirals quarterback Terrence Atkinson faked the snap, both times jerking back to draw Bedford defenders offside. But, in his boldest and most profitable gamble of the night, Coach Campo called the fake punt on 4 and 18 on the ‘Cats 43 yard line and caught the Bedford defense off guard. Instead of the snap going to the punter, Cameron Bryant lofted a ball down to middle of the field to Chris Kimbro, who gathered the pass for a 26 yard gain. The fake paid dividends on the next play when runner Tim Taylor rumbled 16 yards down to the 1 yard line. Taylor finished the game with 102 yards on 22 carries, but more importantly was a crucial component in the Admiral’s domination of the game’s time of possession. From the one, Admiral quarterback Atkinson bootlegged into the end zone untouched to put his team up three scores.

Bedford didn’t go down without a fight, however, and fueled by defensive back Tiron Jester who was playing dangerous close to the edge of his great passion for the game, jumped right back into the game after halftime. On their first possession of the second half, King was facing fourth down and elected to punt, but the snap sailed over punter Cameron Szatala’s outstretched arms towards the Admiral King goal line. Jester showed his blazing speed, winning a race to the loose ball and sliding to the 1 yard line. From there, Byars plunged into the end zone for the first Bearcat score of the game, making the score 21-7, King.

Bedford came out of the locker room a different team in the third quarter, playing with the intensity needed from the outset. Senior corner Eric Baker, who has played extremely well, shutting down the opposition’s top receivers in recent weeks, intercepted an errand Atkinson pass to put the ‘Cats in business at the Admiral 34 yard line. Running back Brian Darden, who ‘Cats Coach John Gibbons went to almost exclusively on the night, found pay dirt from four yards out by absorbing contact from King defenders and lunging in for the score. It seemed as though Admiral King was the team on the ropes now, with Bedford trailing by just a single score.

Many things about the Admiral King game will haunt Bedford in the coming days. In the closing moments of the game and in the overtime period, why not try to let Addison, the ‘Cats most explosive playmaker, win the game? Admiral King seemed to be susceptible to the big pass play all season, yet with the exception of the 31 yard strike from Byars to Antion Addison, the speedy wide-out was glaringly absent from the Bearcat offense. Bedford seemed to be bothered by Admiral King’s defensive pass rush, led by enormous nose tackle Joe Hernandez, early on in the contest, but Addison showed he could get behind the defense when he made a touchdown catch streaking down the sideline with a defender hanging on his back. The Admirals defensive back was whistled for pass interference on the play, but it didn’t matter. Addison was still able to secure the pass and scored to bring the game back to even at 21-21, with all the momentum on Bedford’s side to close the third quarter.

Two Bedford drives stalled quickly in the fourth, with Admiral King focused on stopping Darden. On offense, the Admirals were able to hold onto the ball long enough to cool Bedford’s tremendous rally and with the clock ticking down, quarterback Terrence Atkinson again drew the ‘Cats offside facing fourth down to remain on the field. Runner Tim Taylor got the offense as close as he could, but kicker Cameron Szatala missed a 21-yard attempt that had plenty of leg, but was wide left. After the failed kick, both teams seemed to be playing for overtime.

With the game deadlocked at the end of regulation, Bedford received the ball first in overtime. The Admiral King defense stepped up to the challenge and held runner Brian Darden short of a first down on three straight rushing attempts. On 4th and 4 Gibbons elected to bring kicker Anthony Miller into the game for a 31 yard field goal attempt. Although Miller is reliable on extra point attempts, he is rarely used for 3 point tries. Miller’s kick was up and on target, but didn’t have the distance. The kick fell just feet short of clearing the uprights.

Bedford’s playoff aspirations in their hands, the Admiral King offense just needed to score to steal a road victory and end their 3 game losing skid. As it often does, this thriller came down to the ability of kickers to convert in pressure situations. King Senior kicker Szatala, who just minutes earlier missed the first field goal attempt of his high school career, a try near the end of regulation that would have won the game, quickly received another chance at redemption. On 4th and 3, with the score tied at 21 apiece, Szatala booted the game-winning 30 yarder out of a Chad Hall hold for the Admiral King win. Admiral players immediately stormed the field to congratulate Szatala, who will certainly remember the night and his first field goal for a long time to come.

Bedford players will likely recall the October evening versus Admiral King for their own reasons, as a season filled with so much potential may have fallen just inches short. Both Admiral King and Bedford now stand at 5-4 on the 2007 campaign. Regardless of the should’ve, could’ve, and the what if’s, the Bearcats still have much to play for. If the ‘Cats remember anything from Friday night’s bitter loss, it’s what fictional Hollywood Coach Tony D’Amato, played by Al Pacino, told his players; that inches are “in every break of the game, every minute, every second.” Although “Any Given Sunday” is just a movie, the Bearcat seniors will get their own shot at redemption next week in their final game of the season at Warrensville Heights, with a league championship still on the line. The inches that make the difference between winning and losing will also be there for the taking, as they always are, at Rudy Korsgaard Field in Warrensville. It will be the fight for those inches between two teams sitting atop the Erie Division that will be worth watching.

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October 19, 2007

The Stall

Filed under: Blogroll, The Grind, asides — joesnake @ 2:28 pm

I walked to the library as I normally do most afternoons at the office. The journey is the perfect antidote to the after lunch wave of tiredness that wants to sweep over my body. I’m an active person in the first place, so sitting at a desk all day isn’t appealing either. I use the Akron Library regularly, to the point where the library employees who aren’t mean, lazy, or a little off (this leaves just a few) usually start collecting the CDs and DVDs that I have on hold when they see me approaching the counter.

Sometimes, mostly on Fridays, I take a few minutes to browse the CD collection at the library and see if anything jumps out at me before I pick up the items that I’ve already requested. Today was no different and I was looking over shelves of alphabetized media when I felt the familiar gurgle of my stomach informing me that it was time to address the Taco Bell I’d eaten yesterday during the Indians game and the Chipotle I had just minutes earlier for lunch.

While not the most ideal place to sit down and defecate, I’ve done so in worse places. The library invites its share of people who have no where else to go during the day and have no other access to the resources it provides, which is why the public library is so valuable to the community. But opening up the gates and having a warm, public place with toilets and sinks for people to gather also attracts weirdoes, creeps, and unseemly people like moths congregating to a bug-zapper.

I try not to think of such things, especially when I’m dropping my pants to use the facilities. It’s hard not to look around and get freaked out about germs or other things that could be happening in a public bathroom in Akron, but that’s why they have the little paper thingy shaped like the toilet lid. Plus, the bathroom is usually reasonably clean, as the Library on Main Street is actually a pretty nice, newer building despite being grand central station for people waiting for buses during the day and as I mentioned anyone else in Akron.

The toilet is an automatic flusher. I don’t know if these are designed to be more economical or just seem more futuristic, but in my opinion, automatic flushers suck. I just wanted to get in, do my business and get out and back to collecting my CDs, but the toilet kept flushing randomly while I was trying to use it. This made me somewhat mad, but since it was Friday I just had to laugh. But, it wouldn’t stop happening. The problem with the automatic flusher flushing while you’re sitting on it is it sends a spray of water up out of the toilet while simultaneously making a horrible whooshing noise like a jet is trying to take off out of the bowl. Getting misted in the ass while trying to poop added insult to an already unpleasant situation.

Finally, the demon that had possessed the toilet must have gotten bored and left, or else he found someone else to spray in the butt on another floor. I was squeezing out the last of it when I heard someone come into the bathroom. I’ve always had a problem with the privacy that public bathrooms do not afford; however, I’ve kind of gotten over it in the last few years because sometimes there’s no other real option. It’s weird though because someone else is in the bathroom, some stranger, and he knows that you’re pooping and you know that he knows. You try not to make any noises, but with the stall door closed and your pants hanging dangerously close to the floor, no sounds are really needed anyway because you’re already comprimised.

The stranger did what most bathroom strangers do: he came in, made a few short grunts and “hrrrmmphh”s, and unbuckled his pants. It sounded like the mysterious figure was using the urinal, so I reasoned in my mind he wouldn’t be long. Seconds later I heard a flush. I waited but did not hear the sink start to run as it should. No problem, I thought, that’s not really abnormal for a public library or a men’s bathroom, so I listened harder. I didn’t hear the door opening to the outside either. Seconds passed, yet nothing but more silence. I waited what seemed to be many more minutes. After the flush I hadn’t heard a sink, a door, or any footsteps…was the stranger just standing at the urinal? I didn’t dare to try to peak under the stall from where I was sitting but I wanted to in order to alleviate my growing curiosity. Several more minutes passed in total silence and now I was thinking more about why I hadn’t heard anything but a flush than getting off the toilet myself. Realizing the absurdity of the situation, I chuckled to myself and snapped back to reality. What was I doing? I probably just didn’t hear the door open and close over the loud sound of the urinal flushing. Anyway, what did I care?

I reached for the toilet paper situated closely adjacent to the toilet bowl and ripped off a nice, healthy hand full. I positioned myself, readied to wipe, and at the same time tried not activate the automatic flush feature again. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught the glimpse of something dark and shadowy. Somberly, I lifted and turned my head, my heart starting to beat. I looked towards the crack between the stall and door that was poorly designed to be perfectly aligned with whomever was sitting on the toilet inside. Peering through the opening at me was the most frightening face I’ve ever seen. Too scared to say or do anything, I was immediately paralyzed with terror, too frightened to jump up or look away. My eyes continued to stare directly into wild eyes and I couldn’t tell if the face was so heinous because it had evil intentions, because it was so horribly weathered and scarred, or both. It was obvious the gaze of the stranger, who clearly hadn’t showered or shaven for weeks, wasn’t the product of a mistake or harmless intent. Then, an overwhelming smell took a hold of me and squashed any intrusive odor I had created with my bathroom visit.

Fighting back the urge to vomit, I finally exploded in a combination of fear and rage I have never felt before towards the figure and yelled “What the HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?”. I sprung up and hurriedly hosted my pants on with total disregard for what had been happening moments before, now only concerned with my own safety. Psychologists talk of a “fight or flight” response taking control when a person is faced with a dangerous situation. In a single moment, I felt my hard beating at fever pitch so hard it seemed it would beat out of my chest and my body was overwhelmed with adrenaline. I burst through the stall door towards the figure, now unable to recollect if I opened the latch or used my shoulder to smash through it. The stall crashed open and I flew into the tile floor below me. I smacked my head hard on the door or the floor, which I don’t know because time was moving so fast I could barely maintain conscience. In a split second of disorientation I saw black and thought I was losing control, but after I slumped to the ground, from my stomach I saw the bathroom door open and the shadow hurriedly make its exit from the room.

I probably sat on the floor for another hour just blankly staring at the empty stall. What the hell just happened to me? I’m still trying to figure it out. Maybe I should have reported the man or what happened to the many security guards that wander the libarary, I thought. A few people came into the bathroom during this time, but apparently no one heard anything to make them investigate the commotion coming from inside, or maybe no one cared. A few people asked if I was alright, but the teenagers with headphones on and baggy pants sagged around their hips probably thought I was just another crazy person in the library and chose to look away and pretend I wasn’t there.

Eventually, I collected myself and started to comprehend that I had to go back to my office where almost certainly co-workers had begun to wonder where I had disappeared to for so long. I stood up and walked towards the sink and mirror where I fixed my shirt and carefully looked myself over. I felt violated and strange, although thankfully I was alright. I had a small red mark on the side of my head, but it was buried far enough into my hairline that I reasoned I could make it to the end of the day without arousing any suspicion to what happened in the bathroom and I resolved mentally that I wouldn’t ever tell anyone about it. Then, I looked down to wash my hands and realized my wedding ring was gone.

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October 18, 2007

October 15, 2007

A Strange Gathering

Filed under: Blogroll, Christianity — joesnake @ 7:49 am

His hand gestures were sharp and animated, contrasting with the overgrown gray tufts of hair invading his face and he continued to rail on the group. His lecture was unrelenting and even after hours of rebuking the audience, the man, although clearly old and past his prime, still commanded the obedience of the small group of about twenty supposed church leaders.

Then, from the back of the fluorescently-lit conference room raised a single rebellious voice. “You’re full of absolute SH…” the leader cried out before being abruptly restrained and silenced by Greg Morscher and Ted Howell, minions under the control of the mysterious gray-bearded man.

Craig Smith at the DMT (Photo by Neil Brooks)

Is this the face of rebellion?

This never happened. Rather, the annual DMT Retreat held on October 12-14 at Atwood Lake Resort in Sheroddsville, Ohio, gathered leaders from every ministry at NeoXenos that concluded the weekend refreshed, edified, and exciting about the upcoming year of work to be done in the body of Christ.

On Friday night, the gray bearded man, Keith McCallum, gave a teaching on “The Power of God’s Love”. The emotional and bible-based sermon set the tone that this conference would be different from the usual cut-throat, stuffy business meetings driven by greed and materialism the resort had grown accustomed to hosting. Instead, this would be a group driven by their unifying desire to adhere to God’s word and build his kingdom by learning how to better love and serve others. Keith described the “Oomph!” of investing your heart and concern into somebody’s life, which is needed to make ministry work at Xenos.

On Saturday, Leaders from the Hughes, Michalek, and Ho-Mo home churches, along with representatives from the Oasis, JHQ, Chill, and Word took turns presenting an overview of their ministries to the assembled for spirit lead discussion and debate. In addition, strategies and plans for the upcoming year were unveiled and discussed. The presentations reflected how God has been working tremendously through our fellowship all year long and left the meeting praising him and giving thanks.

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October 14, 2007

October 11, 2007

Joe Cool Versus the Volcano

Filed under: Blogroll, Christianity, Marriage, asides — joesnake @ 1:23 pm

I’m generally a laid-back, in-control kind of guy. I like it that way. I knowingly and unknowingly project a cool-guy persona on people that attempts to get them to buy the image I’m selling. I like to feel like I’m in control of the situation, my emotions, circumstances, and my entire life. The problem is I’m not.

Cool, Cool James Dean

I don’t share my emotions or feelings well. Part of that is because of my personality and part of it is because growing up, I never was encouraged to open up. I just learned how to never talk about things that bothered me, until this ability became second nature. Now, it’s not like I’m actively hiding my feelings or emotions, I’m just in my default mode. It would be strange for me to tell you how I’m really doing, what bothers me, or something I’m really struggling with because I don’t even like to think about things like that. I’m so out of touch with my feelings and emotions, I don’t even think I know what’s going on most of the time with me!

I’m all about suppression. I’m a pretty tough guy, or at least I like to think of myself that way. If I’m feeling lonely or something, I can easily tough that out for days, months, or years if that’s what it takes.

But, no one can stick it out forever. Eventually, situations and circumstances get so tough that all the feelings I’ve bottled up inside come bursting out. Like a dormant volcano that catches the native villagers off guard, I explode because of some inconsequential thing: my wife left a dirty bowl in the sink or someone cut me off on the road. If there’s one emotion I’m not short on, it’s anger.

Mount St. Helens Erupts!

I’m learning how to share how I’m really feeling with people that are close to me. It’s no easy task. Sometimes it’s just easier to vent by screaming at another driver when I’m in the car all by myself or by writing on this blog. This routinely leaves the inside of my windshield dripping with spittle and the pages of my blog soaked with emotional outbursts. My wife can be a good emotional punching bag too- if I’m angry I can just find something to be angry at her about. She’s awesome for putting up with times like this and even when I acknowledge the error of my ways afterwards with an apology, I still probably deserve a slap. It seems stupid and a little puss to tell people you’re sad, lonely, or struggling. A popular excuse is to think “everyone knows I’m lonely, going through tough time, etc. if they cared about me they’d try to help” or to wait by the phone pondering “people know I’m struggling why don’t they call me?” Often times, people don’t understand the depths of what you’re feeling or give you a different reaction than you expected. There have been times I’ve tried to tell people that I’m sad and they looked at me incredulously saying, “You?!? You’re not depressed!” In times like that, It’s hard for me not to think I should have never opened up in the first place.

But, as I was telling B yesterday, us non-emotional people need to learn how to open up and share our feelings with people we’re close to, or we’ve got no chance of making it when difficult circumstances strike, which they will. God calls us to “bear one another’s burdens”, and as much as this is an opportunity for others to serve us, it’s an opportunity for us to serve them by doing something difficult and abnormal by opening up in the first place.

I know a big component for me is staying thankful in the face of adversity. In fact, Paul says that gratitude is at the heart of being content with life. It’s so easy to get caught up in financial hardship or family trouble, but a quick step back and a look at the enormous number of good things that are going on in my life, coupled with the awesome things God has blessed me with immediately brings me back to reality.

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October 5, 2007

Lot’s Mud Puddle

Filed under: Blogroll, Christianity — joesnake @ 9:51 am

Jeff and Greg taught on Abraham and Lot last night, which got me thinking.

Lot lived in this messed up city, Sodom, yet when God wanted him to leave he wouldn’t. Why wouldn’t he just pack up and leave? Eventually he did get out of there, just as the city was being destroyed, but God was calling on him to get out of there much sooner! It’s not like Sodom was an awesome situation, either. The men of the city were into some extremely sick things- just think the word Sodomy comes from their city’s name. When angels sent by God visited Lot, the men of the city wanted to rape them so badly they gathered together in a mob and tried to force their way into Lot’s home. Lot offered the men his two young virgin daughters instead, but the men of Sodom weren’t interested! They wanted Man-Meat.

What was Lot thinking? What exactly was so great about the situation he was in? Living in a debouched city where men storm the streets looking for gay angel sex tends not to be a great place to raise a family. Sodom screwed up Lot’s family forever, as late in his life his daughters thought it was a good idea to get their dad so drunk he would have sex with them!

Clearly, Lot’s situation sucked. It’s easy to laugh at him or feel sorry for his horrible mistake- what an idiot! When God tells you to get out of gay-sex-Land you get out of there!

Guy in Mud Puddle

These pants are so uncomfortable!

Why then have I done the same thing as Lot so many times? No, I’m not talking about living in gay-sex-Land, I’m talking about when I’m in a bad situation and rather than trust God, I’d just prefer to stay in the horrible situation as opposed to doing something uncertain that God wants me to. This happens so often with God- he wants to give us something better than we have, something greater than we could ever imagine and take us out of our currently crappy situation, yet we’d rather stay lonely, friendless, alienated from our family, at a horrible job, in a horrible place cut off from people we love, etc. Sure, it’s bad, but at least we’re comfortable with the suckiness of things because we’ve been living that way since we can remember! It may be a mud puddle, but at least it’s my mud puddle!

I remember this happening when I graduated from college. I was deeply unhappy with my life and wanted to be in a position far from where I was really at. I had unrealistic expectations of what a real, adult life would look like, be like, and feel like and it took many months for me to finally be willing to pick myself up and crawl out of a bad situation. The whole time, I knew what God was calling on me to do, he wanted me to grow up, get a realistic job, learn how to be a man, and learn some character and discipline. I just refused to do it because I, like Lot, thought I knew better and was depressed but at least I was comfortable.

As soon as I humbled myself and admitted that I might not know everything, God came through almost instantly! Now, looking back on those dark, depressing days spent wishing things could be different I laugh at how ignorant and stupid I was. Why didn’t I just make the choice to trust God sooner? Now my life is totally different. God couldn’t wait for me to have a little faith in him and he’s transformed me into what I was wishing for and more. I’m married, have a good job, feel like a man, and it is awesome!

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