True Confessions of an Originaljoesnake

In a seemingly normal residential dwelling in Cuyahoga Falls, something decidedly abnormal was happening. Instead of nestling in front of their television sets for an evening of American Idol, the gathering of more than twenty career aged settled into their seats to be instructed by a bubbly mother of many young boys.

The woman was animated and excited, in contrast to the majority of her listeners who seems content to take a few notes, nod their heads in agreement, or sip coffee.

The room had been assembled into a strange arrangement of chairs and couches each facing the woman, who was in the process of reminding those in attendance “they were to be different because God is different”.

Was this some self-help group or religious cult ceremony? To an outsider looking in, the topic of conversation would seem strange, but those in attendance weren’t really exhibiting any behavior that could be considered strange or cult like. At least not yet.

What was the deal, then? The woman continued. To see her driving her average looking American made minivan packed with children down the street earlier in the day, she’d resemble any other daily commuter.

The woman, her name was Lisa, proceeded to call those in attendance to love each other fervently from the heart. The way she envisioned it, this loving was going to look something similar to an overflowing pot on the stove “like love boiling over towards one another”. She urged the group to “keep their love boiling hot” while warning “most people’s love grows cold”.

Was this some sort of kinky sex party? Did the woman put something strange in the java the congregation was unknowingly gulping down?

Lisa continued. Next, she claimed to have a manual of “insights into the hottest love story ever told”! Surely, her listeners had been drugged- they weren’t blinking much less heading towards the exits at this audacious claim. If they didn’t leave soon, they’d likely become volunteers in some sort of sick demonstration of the manual Lisa held. There her husband was, closest to the door, presumably ready to block those who’d attempt to run. Maybe all in attendance were into whatever was about to go down! Certainly Lisa’s warm and inviting home and gentle exterior had hidden her true maniacal intent to those that didn’t already know, right?

“If it’s going to be that kind of party, I’m gonna stick my &*%@ in the mashed potatoes!” – The Beastie Boys

Finally Lisa explained. She had been referring to “God’s love written down for us”. This wasn’t the beginning of an orgy full of hot sex love; it was the preface to a discussion on the love of truth and the power of the word of God.

Were you disappointed or relieved to find out this group was a home church of Christians studying 1 Peter 1:22-2:3?

Lisa launched into passages that compared to bible to a seed and to milk Christians need to grow spiritually. From the way she was speaking about God’s word, it seemed to be of vital importance for those in attendance.

The word of God speaks things into existence, it leads to a life filled with substance, we should crave it like a baby craves mother’s milk, it gives you a life that won’t end, its reliable and unchanging, infallible, flawless, superhuman, endlessly nourishing, life changingly impactful, equipping, powerful, and transforming.

Actually, there was no doubt about it; the scriptures Lisa referenced demonstrated she was right. In fact, because we don’t have the same viewpoint as the word of God, we constantly need to be retrained to live accordingly. As 1 Pet 2:2 shows, Christians need to “grow up” in salvation, a sanctification process that begins with salvation. What Lisa was suggesting was revolutionary! She was talking about God actually changing who we are!

In an impassioned plea, Lisa urged the faithful to long and yearn for the word of God. “Am I experiencing growth? Do I feel the fire?” she questioned, wanting to know if her listeners had problems getting excited about God’s truth.

Putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander…not your clothes!

The rich visuals obtained from the words of scripture conjure up many things, but Lisa dove back into her previous expedition into hot sex when she suggested the whole room should “disrobe” if they weren’t excited about the bible and loving one another. I guess that’s one quick and dirty way to get the blood flowing, but Lisa pointed to 1 Peter 2:1 citing Peter’s petition to “put aside”, literally take off or rid yourself of the things that get in the way of our duty as Christians to love.

Lisa’s final challenge? For the group to take the “Peter challenge”. Peter, a fisherman who Christ himself called was a brash and arrogant, ignorant and unscholarly Jew, Lisa explained. Yet, Peter went before highest religious order and was able to debate effectively because he learned humility through brokenness and immersed himself in the word of God.

Lisa exhorted to group to be like Peter and get into the bible in order to be transformed. “Spend time with him! In his truth! The word of God is living and active – don’t sit on it – use it!” she exclaimed, almost shouting.

Next, Alex shared his thoughts. For so long, he had relied on just hearing about God from someone else. But, in agreement with Lisa he stated simply listening to a teaching wasn’t nearly as effective and life-changing as actually delving into scripture on his own.

Then, Dar talked about the recent exploits of New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer. Instead of being surprised that Spitzer was caught paying thousands of dollars to a high-priced call girl, she placed his discretion in with the rest of the world’s deceptive and alluring distractions. “We’re so deceived by the world’s system”, Dar warned, “Our culture is now full of people who have never been exposed to Christ.” Then when they do hear the gospel, they’re “shocked by love”.

Afterwards, many prayed. Soon after, the meeting dispersed throughout the first floor of the house, continuing to fellowship into night.

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