Comments on: Little Tyrants

By: Jackie

Jackie — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:08:37 +0000

*a poorly disciplined child…

By: Jackie

Jackie — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:07:06 +0000

I have been thinking a lot about the way things are with children, too. When I try and wrap my mind around it, it’s loaded with contradictions about them. Jesus said, essentially, that we must model after children, in the sense of being free from pretentiousness and arrogance in order to follow Him with trust. I also recall a video from Gospel For Asia that was shown in Perspectives class not too long ago, in which an Indian man with a true passion for the Lord tried and failed for several years to reach just one person out of all the communities around him. It took absolute brokenness to ask God to show him anyone whose hearts were open to knowing Him, and this man shortly thereafter was led to shepherd children. Then some of their parents, too, I believe, were led to Christ as a result. Praise God for this man’s persistent willingness to lead people–anyone–to Christ! And praise God for these children for being so hungry and unpretentious, like the children Jesus was talking about in Matthew.

But then there is the other side……

Children need discipline, and my god, even in my limited experience with them I know that they push and push to see where the boundaries really are with any adult in charge. A poorly child develops into a taker, not growing out of the infantile stage. They get carried away with their selfishness and are all the more prone to winding up with the kind of calloused heart that Paul warns of in Ephesians 4:17-19 because their own selfishness knows little limits. What really trips me out is the fact that the evidence seen with children is overwhelming: people are, indeed, not inherently not good but inherently evil. I absolutely agree that gratitude must be learned and practiced with sincerity in order for kids to get outside of themselves and see that they don’t deserve anything (but hell), especially when they possess demanding attitude.

By: joesnake

joesnake — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:59:36 +0000

In many ways I am terrified to have kids of my own. There is a fine line between teaching your kids that they can do something if they set their mind to it and work hard, but being realistic about it and not letting them set unrealistic goals and expectations for themselves (or have me set crazy goals for them).

My parents helped me believe in myself and work through problems, but they also contributed in some way to my false belief I should be honored just because I was me. As I’ve said before, I so bought into this I just believed that I would graduate from college and be handed a unique, fulfilling, and prestigious career making mounds of cash.

As for my pictures, I shall never reveal my secret. I love to look for images that fit my story WAY more than I even enjoy writing the story. I think I’ve even written a few things so I could use some pictures I liked!

By: Kalie

Kalie — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:48:00 +0000

Great blog, Joe. I love how you connect news stories to stuff we’re discussing and learning. I often wonder the same thing you do–”was I that bad?”–when I see how high school kids behave. And not just my students, but my two youngest siblings. They’ve had a very different upbringing than I did, and with quite different results. Not that I wasn’t bad, but like you said I feared my parents and knew I needed be a contributing member of the family. That boy is a scary example, but exactly how Keith illustrated demanding significance in the class–a boy with a gun. I hope as disciplers and future parents that we can do avoid instilling the world-revolves-around-you perspective. And I know this is something I need to unlearn myself in many ways.

By: Gozer the Keymaster

Gozer the Keymaster — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:25:56 +0000

What an astonishing Blog, Joe. Jeeso peek. I hope Kyle doesn’t blow my brains out for “pulling the plug” on “Guitar Hero” !! (Well, maybe Kyle won’t, but what about B? hehehe)

Dig that picture. How the hell do you find those things?

But both you & Lisa are clearly invaluable allies in the “war against selfism” we need to wage in the modern era, if our kids are to survive long or happily. Lisa, teaching that gratitude may never be fully possible as long as the kids are at home, I think. But teaching it will be something that’ll stick in their craw, and they’ll certainly come back to it later. That’s the importance of Permanent Love Values.

By: Joe

Joe — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:34:40 +0000

Good point, Lisa. In my upbringing, my father always said he wanted to provide a better life for me than he had, as his father did for him. He did so, but in the process may have provided too much for me! I always had a car, didn’t need to worry about a lot of bills, and even had college paid for me!

Now, I am very grateful for all this, but at the time I didn’t realize how much I was recieving. I took it for granted and actually spent most of my time still focused on what I didn’t have. In other words, I didn’t live in the real world. I was shocked to get out on my own and find out that everything cost money (a lot of money!) and that the bills keep coming! In the past few years I have had to deal with car repairs for the first time- something I should have been learning long ago!

By: lbeech

lbeech — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 20:30:34 +0000

I too am amazed at how demanding today’s youth are and for the little regard that they have for others and other’s possessions.

My own children have been raised in a culture of easy street - where the economy for the most part has been ever increasing. Most children and young adults today do not understand necessary sacrifice for mere survival like many who lived during the depression or even during the 70’s. The future has always promised to give more.

Parents who mean well give and give to their children with expecting little contribution from their kids - as a result these kids do not have significance and never learn how to love - how to give love - never learned to sacrifice.

Their young lives are filled with activity and experience - but there is little substance - only consumption of things and experiences and other’s emotions.

Parents want what is best for children - economic status and professional success are the crowning achievements desired by parents for their offspring. False significance is esteemed.

The focus is on achievement - these kids may have amazing IQ’s and academic records, but they are relationally stunted - even regression is a possibility. Many children grow up in broken and unloving homes - homes relationally devastated.

This was my own background. It has been a mountain to climb - to unlearn what I was taught - even now - having gained such understanding and insight from the Lord - it is not natural for me to think in the relational realm - to give love and to imput significance to others. These are steps of faith. Those steps of faith are what give me hope for that which is yet unseen.

Parenting in today’s culture has become treacherous - in a culture where love has indeed grown cold. It is such a battle to teach gratitude - some personalities seem to understand it easier than others - this is what I have seen in my own children. Regardless of personality, all of them must learn gratitude.