True Confessions of an Originaljoesnake

Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been ommitted to protect the guilty.

I looked at them. They looked at me. Their faces communicated a shock that they might not get away with what they had grown accustomed to, yet the expressions on the faces of the two boys seemed to indicate they weren’t done trying to, at least not yet.

In hindsight, I should have expected it walking onto a dark, dungeon-like basement with blinds still drawn tight after noon. Outside, the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day, inside however was a different story as the air was thick with the stagnation and funk that only male adolescence can provide. I tip toed down the steps, not yet ready to believe that life could exist in this kind of toxic environment, however, the sounds associated with video games told me otherwise.

Sitting on a couch wrapped in a tangle of blankets and cords, it was hard to tell where fabric and cloth ended and person began. But, I could make out what resembled my two disciples. Eyes still glazed over, it was obvious this could have gone on for many more hours if I had not arrived.

Last week, I had given them both assignments to complete for the day’s meeting. Both reassured me, as only youth can, that what I had assigned would be a breeze to complete. Plus, I also knew that with minimal effort these boys could memorize the verses I was asking them to, or at least I hoped they would.

“Did you complete your assignments?” I asked. I needed to pry the answer from both. “We can’t move on with our discipleship until you memorize these verses.” I reiterated. It didn’t seem to be registering with them as both started going acting like I wasn’t even there. “I need breakfast!” one announced and disappeared to scrounge something up.

Now, one week later from when the assignments were given, the excuses were flowing like water. The reassurances had turned into failure to complete the work that was given. “I had a busy week”, one triumphantly announced. Both were still dumbfounded and incredulous that I wasn’t just going to spit up a bible lesson for them to chew on for a few minutes then chauffer them off to play as they expected. “Aren’t you supposed to teach us?” They asked, stating their case in unison. The way they were acting, you’d think it was my fault that they didn’t do what they had agreed to do!

The other wanted to know if his inability to memorize his assignment would get in the way of the day’s plans. “We’re still going to the Nat, right?” He asked, trying to brush the whole messy situation under the rug, “Let’s just go to the Nat!” He again stated, referring to plans we had to go to the local recreation center after we met up for our discipleship to play basketball and swim.

On the verge of leaving, I read the boys Ephesians 4:28 –

He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.

“You two are little thieves” I strongly suggested as I pointed across the room to them, “What do you have to offer anyone?” I asked, but was met with silence.

The Boys’ agendas for the week leading up to our discipleship.

Meanwhile, others in the house were witnessing the developing scene. As I contemplated leaving, Kyle joined the conversation asking the boys in amazement, “You don’t really think Joe is going to actually take you guys to the Nat, do you? You guys better go memorize your verses right now.” Still, this bold statement was met with minimal action from the boys. Finally, one stood after much internal debate and disappeared presumably to get to work on his assignment.

Now, one boy remained in the room. While his co-conspirator had apparently given him up to fight on his own, still he arrogantly strode upstairs to fix a bowl a cereal. He was acting like the whole situation happening in the basement had no connection to him at all.

I packed my bags in anticipation of having to leave. I didn’t really want to. Despite the boys not finishing their assignments, I still always enjoy hanging out with them. Part of me wanted to forget about the whole thing or help them memorize their verses. But, I realize I am often way too nice, which only enables people to take advantage of me. If the boys were allowed to get away with more “little thieving”, they wouldn’t be grateful to me at all, they’d just do it again next time. More importantly, they would never learn to “perform with their own hands”. How could they ever have something to share?

Thankfully, after Dar added to the prodding, the remaining boy sulked downstairs to start work on completing his assignment. His work wasn’t without frequent excuses and comments to me, however. Still, he was trying to weasel out of his responsibility, falsely claiming that I had never even given him the assignment in the first place! At this point, I started to get annoyed. However, just as smoke was starting to seep from my ears, the first boy strode back into the room and plopped down back onto the couch.

He indicated he had memorized 1 Corinthians 13. “Well, let’s hear it.” I commanded skeptically. He proceeded to recite the entire chapter, almost word for word, only needing to fill in a few minor words here and there with help. I was amazed, especially because only a half hour after he was battling me, here he was delivering the assignment.

At this, the other seemed to realize that he better get his act together and soon he recited the assignment too.

Then, came the most shocking event of the afternoon – the boys apologized to me for not coming prepared with their assignment! With a trip to the Nat still up in the air, I’m not sure of the motives behind this unprompted occurrence, but I was still taken aback.

After a tumultuous start to the day, the end result was much better. The assignments were completed and we could all enjoy a day together at the Nat.